This week’s frivolity: evidently Johnny Depp is filming in Illinois, and “got sick of drinking the local wine,” so he shipped in wine from his home in France to get him through the duration of the filming.

This quote-unquote-news, while published I suppose to publicize a celebrity’s excess (because that’s unusual), makes me wonder various things:

What Illinois wine was Johnny drinking?

Why didn’t he just direct his entourage to purchase some CA wine, rather than shipping from France?

Or was California wine the “local wine” that the source in the article was really referring to? Was this a sort of slam against all US vintners, or Illinois vintners only?

Is French wine unavailable in Illinois, requiring one to ship in one’s own?

Did Johnny expect that drinking Illinois wine would be so delightful that he would not possibly need to pack some French bottles with him for his sojourn, and was subsequently dismayed to find himself mistaken, or what?

Yet another point to further my contention that celebrities are, in reality, robots and not actual people.

Happy Humpt-Day, the ancient celebration of putting a broken egg back together again. Good luck with all that and good night.

Well, everyone but Alvaro Palacios.  Poor him!

In our first Wine Scamp Male Objectification Poll, Joao Portugal Ramos and Telmo Rodriguez tied with 6 votes each for Most Handsome Iberian Winemaker.  The second most popular choice after our handsome duo was a vote against the poll itself, which I must applaud with one hand clapping: I knew it was wrong when I did it, and I did it anyway… Congrats to all the participants; I assure you it was an honor just for you to be nominated. 

And many thanks to those who simply joined in the fun – wine’s supposed to be fun, I’ve heard – despite their lingering gender-political doubts, or because of them.  We’ll have another of these real soon, I promise.

moar funny pictures

On a non-wine related note, please wish me to be very funny tonight when I perform stand-up at my company’s comedy show benefit for Meals on Wheels and More.  We’ve raised $15,000 so far for our local chapter.  Woot!

I’m pleased to have so many fellow bloggers and other lovers of wine take an interest in my scientific research study regarding the sexual attractiveness of the male Iberian winemaker!

Alas, however; beauty is fleeting, and thus I’m closing the poll on Wednesday. If you or your friends have neglected to vote, don’t delay! There’s nothing in it for you but the fame (haha!) and conflictive sexual political conundrums, but when else this week has something so wrong felt So Right?

Jill at Domaine 547 suggested this ages ago, and I’ve only just recently been able to make polls work for me… luckily, pretty endures. So here is your chance to vote for the Most Handsome Iberian Winemaker.

Our panel of scientists here at the Wine Scamp laboratories have studied the laws of winemaker attraction for many years, and they have concurred that one requirement is that a given winemaker must both be symmetrical in physicality as well as make damn good wine. Real wine lovers are not induced to swoon by pretty, namby-pamby vintners of plonk. No! We must have ample talent to buttress a winemaker’s rugged good looks. Read the rest of this entry »